Last night I had a discussion with Jon about our Summer plans. Every year, I long for summer. I wait and wait and wish that it was here, and April and May usually bring a lot of excitement (and disappointment when the weather teases me). And with summer so close I can taste the smoky BBQ and snow cones, I can smell the coconut oil and sunscreen, and I can picture my sun-kissed skin and walks in the cool evenings... I HAVE to make plans. Summer wouldn't be summer without a trip to Lake Powell. Without a trip to the beach. Summer wouldn't be summer without spending some of it away from home, in the company of friends and family.
It is these summer luxuries that I long for, and that I miss when the ground is too cold to walk around barefoot and the sky is too grey to hold any warmth. Being cooped up inside with a baby all winter long, isn't good for my psyche. (Why not? Well, she IS a joy of course, but...) Saying that my happiness during the 5 months of cold depends solely on my summer activities might be pushing it, but it might not.
So then comes the summer plans. I know that my expectations are unrealistic. They are. I admit it. But I can't seem to shake them. This schedule seems perfect... start out the summer with a trip to Lake Powell with family and friends. Celebrate no ASU hanging over Jon's head during his 6 week summer break with a trip to the beach, just the 3 of us... take Mary to Sea World and spoil her rotten before her brother arrives in the fall. Stay home for a month and live up the 4th of July festivities and lots of pool time. Head back to Lake Powell for a reunion of ALL of my beloved siblings, and pack the week full of new memories to last us until next time we can see one another. Come home, be home for a little while and make the trip back to Newport to spend each waking hour with the Crosby grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles that we NEVER see outside of summer. Walk on the beach every night. Eat fresh donut holes every morning, if we want. Stay up late and talk. And then come home. Stay home. And bask in the wonderful memories we will treasure for the rest of the year.
Exhausted? You say? Too much traveling, you say? Maybe. Maybe it IS too much. Maybe it IS. Daunting, as Jon put it. Well, I wouldn't go that far. Why do we have to leave in order to have a fun summer? We don't.
But actually, we kind of do. And here's why. My new life as a mother is better than I imagined it would be. It really IS wonderful. The only problem is, that I am inside of my house for 80% of my life. Little ones need sleep... and LOTS of it. They require care and attention that doesn't facilitate a life on the go. My life is here, in this beautiful home that my husband provides for us. My responsibilities don't ever go away here... clothes are ALWAYS getting dirty. Beds need making EVERY day. Dust gathers. Toilets flush. Mouths need to eat... a lot. My home is wonderful, yes, but my home is also my work. Escape from this daily routine is something I find to be rejuvenating, rewarding, and yes, relaxing. And no. Not daunting.
Ok, I do understand where he is coming from, I do. My responsibilities are HERE, his responsibilities allow me to be HERE.
So now we are in a predicament, aren't we?
"Yes, I understand how you feel. No, I don't feel that way. At all."
This is the sentence that ended our planning session. It could have come from either of our mouths, because that's what the reality is.
I don't need to get down about it, I know summer will have sun, no matter what sky I am under. Because THAT is where I plan to be... outside, underneath the big, warm, sky.
I guess I just hope that while I am outside, I will be joined by loved ones, in beautiful places.
That's my dilemma. It's not really a BIG deal. No, not REALLY. But kind of.
Home for the summer? Or away? Which one of those questions is really DAUNTING?
9 comments:
We must come from the same family because I feel just the same way about summer. I love it way to much and seriously consider moving every winter. Summers were the best when we would swim, have sleepovers, meet at the park, get snow cones, and just be kids. Summers seemed to last a lifetime. Sometimes I wish those summers would come back...It is hard because I'm feeling trapped this summer, which in reality I sort of will be. But for some reason I'm ok with it because I know it will be worth it!! If it gets too daunting this summer you'll just have to visit me because most likely I will be feeling the same way!! We can eat popsicles and remember when we weren't grown ups but just kids!
i LOVED this lis! i'm still giggling about 'yes, i get how you feel. no i don't feel the same way.' haha. so great. thanks for giving me a little peek of what summer planning is like in the crosby home. i love you and your little family!
so i know it's not far away from your home/work, but i'd love to come swim in your pool with you and mary sometime this summer! hope it's okay i just invited myself over. ;) seriously, i can't say it enough - i LOVE you.
and I'll be in the backseat of Mal's car.
I know exactly how you feel. Every day my big challenge and adventure is how to get out of the house for more than an hour without spending money!!
And we are DEFINITELY sisters. Fortunately you have a pool, so while jon is in his "stay home" rut, I will be in it with him. And you. Under the big warm sky, making memories that will last us a lifetime- not just the rest of the year. Can't wait for the fun to begin! At least we have lake powell to look forward to righT? And hey, it could be worse. You could be here. With me. At Parr Brown. Just smile knowing you can at least FEEL and SEE the warm sky.
That is the truth, we are home for our jobs (which is the best), but we all need a little vacation!
Good to see your blog again, thanks!
p.s. Have you signed Mary up for Baby Gap yet, seriously she is the cutest!
Ok Lisa, I am home alone without a baby. Just always cleaning up and getting ready for the next party. But YOU are the party, so lets hang out lots. You know where you and Mar Bear are always wanted and welcome. Love you. I love when I clean up I find little memories of Mary - one pink shoe, one little cute bow, etc. We should document our times together...so we have something to look at on the off days!
Well put! Seriously we are sisters,we can't seem to stay home for more than a couple of weeks:) But LOVE it! Love being with you no matter if all we do is go to walmart!
I absolutely love this post! I have been thinking the same exact things (though slightly different with no child but working full time in the place of it)
I think your summer sounds EXCITING! SOO FUN!
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