High Heels and a Big Heart

Part One: Heart
We are trying to hold family home evening and teach Mary a lesson each week. Mary has enough of an attention span to listen for about 5 minutes, maybe 10 if it includes pictures. Last week we taught her about this:

The First Vision. I showed Mary this picture and pointed to Jesus and Heavenly Father. I told her who they are, and that they are the ones who listen to her prayers every day. She stared intently at the picture, looked at me, crossed her chubby little hands over her chest and said,

"I feel dat in my heart."

She repeated it again when I recounted it.

"Yeah, I feel dat in my heart." So quietly and reverently.

I have never said anything like that to her. It was one of those moments that I realized how close children are to the things that matter most.




Yesterday Ashton was fussing a little bit and I hear Mary talking in a high-pitched baby voice, "Hey Ash boy, I hear you. Yes, I hear you. It's alright. Yes I'm here. I'm here Ash Boy."

Last night she didn't want to go to bed unless "Ashton Boy" was lying
"wight there in dat bed by me!!"


Part 2: High Heels
Mary got a new pair of high heels she can call her very own. I am such a nice mom... she got to pick every single part of her outfit, including her accessories, and she didn't even have to ride in the cart (all of which can be quite a struggle with this little princess.)
Well, I should say that she has such a nice Dad, because without him, we wouldn't have had this luxury of walking everywhere at the grocery store. In this video, Jon is ahead of us pushing a 10 foot long plastic car cart with nothing in it but Ashton. It was a fun family excursion to the case-lot sale. I had a cart of my own, and a Mary to chase. (Good thing about the high heels is, she can't run very fast in them!)

I hate viewing movies with my head tilted to the side, so if you do too, don't watch this. If you don't mind a 60 second neck kink, then go ahead and watch Mary show off her fancy grocery store outfit.

5 months old

Don't you just want to squish him? He is my little sunshine.

Ashton's first few months of life were kind of rough, but we have got him all figured out.

He is such a happy and good-natured baby. Loud noises and lots of commotion still makes him put on a pitiful frown and even a sad cry, he's a sensitive little guy!

He caught RSV a couple of weeks ago, which was scary, but we feel blessed that he recovered quickly.

That open-mouthed smile melts me every single day. He's a momma's boy, and I love it.

Just shy of 18 lbs, and he's got the rolls to prove it!

Static

This stuff is perfect for my babies... It smells good, it makes their skin feel soft, and it never stings their eyes.

However, it has some side effects that aren't listed.

THIS is what it does to Mary's hair...

(Pictures courtesy of Jon's phone... taken at Costco, on the display couches)

I learned from a knowledgeable source that baby shampoo doesn't sting kids eyes, at the cost of over-drying their hair.

Do you have static problems?

My suggestion: Stop using baby shampoo and start with this $2 solution.

It totally helps!

Mary

This was 2 years ago when I held my little girl for the first time.

I can't believe how much better my life is with her in it.

She is talking so much, and really becoming more and more of her own person. It is so fun to hang out with her. Mary wears her heart on her sleeve, and I know exactly how she is feeling and what she wants (and doesn't want). She is a gentle and a caring child, but she also has a very strong sense of her way. She loves to be organized and is into her wardrobe, her hair, and her dolls. She sorts her toys by color and category, and always places them in a line. Like most toddlers, Mary definitely feels the beat of the music and encourages me to "Dance!" with her, even when I'm not in the mood.

"MINE!" is her new favorite word. I'm trying to teach her how to share (is that possible at her age? Anyone? My efforts aren't really working) However, when she claims ownership over me, and Ashton, and Jon, I kind of like it. I don't correct her when she says, "MY mommy. MY Ashton. MY daddy."

Something about it tells me that she likes being a part of this little family. And THAT is very endearing. I like it too. Actually, I love it.

And I love her.

"How wonderful life is, when you're in the world."

Happy Birthday Mary!

This blog REALLY inspires me. I hope it inspires you.

THIS post is a good one. AND the one that it is linked to. And there are A LOT more that make me happy, make me laugh, and cry, or are simply beautiful.

Sisters really are the best friends a girl can have. I am so grateful for mine, the ones I've known since birth, and the ones I have loved since we met. You REALLY are some of the very best women I know. Becca, Michelle, Julianne, Heather, Rachel, Kimmy, Jess, Katie. Thanks for being you, Lucky me!

Arrrrrrshton

This little guy is growing up so fast. Yesterday, Adam called him a caterpillar. The hungry, hungry, caterpillar. He's 2 1/2 months old, weighs close to 15 lbs, and has the most kissable chubby cheeks I've ever seen. The past couple of weeks he has come to life smiling and cooing. He knows we are here, taking care of him! He is so precious, I just wish you could all get a squeeze from this cuddly little munchkin every day like I do.



Thanks Chris, for the pictures, and for the pirate shirt... I'm still so impressed you crafted this all on your own. (well, with a little bit of your wife's touch, right Kimmy?)

Holiday Healing

I haven't posted for a very long time, and for good reason. My excuse is, well, um... I'm just going to throw it out there... yes I will... here goes... I... have... been... depressed. Yep, it's true. Suffering from a combination of many factors, the "postpartum" blues got me down. If you are a mother, you may know what it's like, but I didn't know. Nothing could have prepared me for the roller coaster I feel I have been on these past couple of months. I knew the baby was coming, I knew it would be hard because I would have 2 babies. I knew I wouldn't feel very good physically for a while, but I didn't really know what it would be like every day.

Sweet little, perfect Ashton came into my life just days before my 25th birthday. He is a blessing, so fresh from God, so pure and fragile. He depends on me for every need, every waking moment. That complete dependency endeared me to the child who was here, in my arms. At the same time, that responsibility made me question my own capabilities. He cried a lot. I tried everything. I tried everything. I AM trying EVERYTHING I can think of. A lot of remedies have worked. Previced, Sleep training, binkis, baby bjorn, no more chocolate, no more broccoli, tummy time, gas drops, more naps, earlier bedtimes, incline. The list goes on. But it is in those hours of fussing that I question myself. When the circles under my eyes were wearing darker and darker, when my daily responsibilities were left undone. How do other women do this? How come I can't figure out how to meet my own baby's needs? What is wrong with me? And yes, even thought a couple of times... I guess I can't do this after all.

However, it was in THAT moment... in those times I felt I might actually be crazy, and indeed incapable, that God sends quiet miracles, little angels, and sometimes big messages that He is still in charge.

Today I was loading Mary into the car while explaining that we were going to get the car washed. I told her it was going to be loud, trying to prevent her from having a melt-down. She responded in a sad voice,

"Scared." and then, "Me. Scared?"

"Yes, Mary, it might be scary, but-"

"Mommy." It was like a whole sentence in one word. She pointed to her hand and said, "Hand, Mommy, Hand." Trying to interpret an almost 2 year old can be challenging,

"You want me to hold your hand?" I asked.

"Yeah." "Okay. Me. Okay."

Doesn't that sound so simple? So wonderfully simple? Mary won't be scared if she can hold my hand. She will be okay.

This Holiday season I felt God's outstretched hand to me. I felt the simple comfort he sent through moments like the car wash with Mary. I felt His outstretched hand through a trusted friend's words when I realized that God doesn't expect us to be perfect in our relationships, or in our responsibilities. I knew what she said was true, that's why he sent us here... it's to figure out we CAN'T do this alone, that we NEED him. I felt comfort in the home of my own parents, and in the company of my brothers and sisters. I felt okay again as I spent quality time with my husband, my in-laws, and my friends. I think Mary summed up perfectly the healing I felt this holiday...

Scared. Mommy Hand. Mommy Hand. Ok. Me. Ok.

I am okay. I am refreshed. I am ready. I can do this mother-of-two business. On days when I feel I can't, I will remember these past few weeks, and Mary's simple phrases. There are hands to hold all around me. And they feel warm. And they make it all okay.



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*Post Edit:

I'm really not trying to be a "debbie downer." I have been close to deleting this post about 10 times for many reasons... was I too personal? Does this sound like a pity call? Do I sound ungrateful? etc.

But your kind comments and gestures to me since I posted last week have me feeling very grateful for loved ones who are sincere, and who are real. Thank you for your thoughtfulness and for your love. My hope is that God will send his angels to you to lift you when you are down as He has to me. Thank you.

love, love, love,
Lisa